Alright, we’ve talked about what boundaries are, how to set them, and how to communicate them. But what happens when someone straight-up ignores them? Because let’s be honest—this happens a lot, especially in BIPOC communities where boundaries were often seen as disrespectful rather than necessary.

So, you’ve done the inner work. You know what your boundaries are. Now comes the part that makes a lot of us sweat—actually telling people about them. 😬 (Cue the people pleasers suddenly needing a nap.)

So, you’ve realized that boundaries are a thing (welcome to the club!). But knowing you need them and actually setting them? Two very different things. The truth is, learning to set boundaries is a skill, and like any skill, you’re going to stumble before you master it. And guess what? That’s totally okay. 🙌🏾

So, we’ve established that boundaries aren’t disrespectful (despite what your childhood might have taught you). But now let’s get into the real question: What even ARE boundaries? And just as importantly, what are they NOT? 🤔

Let’s be real—many of us grew up in households where the mere act of saying “no” was seen as a personal attack. If you dared to say, “I don’t want to hug Uncle Joe,” suddenly you were “acting grown.” If you asked for privacy, you were “being secretive.” If you expressed your own needs, you were “too much.” Sound familiar? 👀

We’ve all heard the phrase, “It’s not you, it’s me.” But let’s be real—it’s probably both of you, plus a little sprinkle of childhood conditioning. 😉 Welcome to the world of attachment styles, where your relationship tendencies were basically pre-programmed before you could even say “love.”

Let’s talk about attachment styles—a topic that’s like that one friend who’s always a little too insightful at parties. You might not fully understand them, but once you do, they make everything in your relationships click. (And we’re talking about the good kind of “click,” not the kind where you panic and wonder if it’s time to ghost someone.)